21 The Stage

Yu Yan slept soundly, and were it not for the commotion outside, she might not have woken up at all. Yue Tao and Shan Zhi wiped her face and changed her into a light summer tunic. Before the ointment on her face was even smoothed out, Yu Yan was already kicking her legs, eager to run outside.

Madam Li was sitting on a luohan couch with Hong Fen in her arms. Seeing Yu Yan, who had grown a bit thin from the midsummer heat, the elderly woman from the Li family said warmly, "Is this the Second Gege? Your father often speaks of her at home, saying his little girl had a little girl of her own, though none of us had ever met her until now."

Yu Yan blinked at Madam Li, finding that the woman did not look much like her own mother, Li, perhaps having inherited more features from her maternal grandfather, whom she had never met.

"The child is beautiful. Look at these eyebrows and eyes; she has picked all the best features of her parents," Madam Li remarked. She rarely saw her grandchildren and was filled with affection. Were it not for the restraint required by their station, she would likely have pulled Yu Yan into her arms and called her "my heart and soul."

Madam Li replied, "This girl knows how to grow; her brother didn't turn out as well as she did."

Hong Fen complained, "E-niang! Hong Fen is handsome!"

Having spent much time following Yu Yan, his speech had become much more fluid, and his desire to express himself had grown. Unwilling to stay nestled in Madam Li’s arms, he tried to climb down. The wet nurse, worried that the young boy might inadvertently hurt the child currently in Madam Li’s womb, hurriedly coaxed him to walk on the floor instead.

"It is good that this one is coming in early spring; the month of confinement will be neither too cold nor too hot," Madam Li whispered to her daughter. "The first three months are fine, but it becomes harder as the months go by. Try not to use too much ice in your room; I’m afraid you might catch a chill and be unable to take medicine when the time comes."

Madam Li sighed listlessly, "It has been nearly two months, and I cannot eat a thing. Sour or spicy, sky-bound or earth-crawling—the small kitchen prepares everything the imperial physicians suggest, but I simply have no appetite."

She had been the same way when she carried Erlinzhu and Hong Fen, and because she was naturally thin, the children were born frail. She had intended to eat well for this pregnancy, but everything she ate came back up. Her stomach remained flat, barely showing any signs of gestation.

"If you cannot eat, do not force yourself. I remember when you were young at home, you loved fried yellow croaker. Why not have the small kitchen prepare some?" Madam Li suggested. "Try some pickled melons or spiced dishes; a pregnant woman’s taste can change drastically."

As the mother and daughter discussed the intricacies of raising children, Yu Yan found no room to join the conversation, so she took her younger brother’s hand and ran toward the front courtyard.

Hong Fen walked quite steadily now, but the wet nurse followed nervously, terrified that the precious young master might trip. Yu Yan disliked the way the household coddled the children. When Hong Fen slowed down and didn't want to walk, she refused to let the nurse carry him. "How can you keep him in your arms all day? A boy must endure some tumbles to grow up strong!"

Though young, she already carried herself like a mistress of the house. Knowing the Second Gege was not to be trifled with, the nurse could only smile apologetically, "The A-ge is young and his feet are soft..."

Yu Yan grabbed her brother’s hand and looked down at him. "Hong Fen, do you want to see the little horse?"

Hong Fen had never seen a horse. Children are always curious about the unknown. He looked up at his sister, his crisp, milky voice echoing, "Yes!"

The stable where the horse, Chiji, resided was not far away. The young eunuch in charge was diligent, and when they arrived, he was busy brushing the horse. Chiji had grown quite a bit. Though still a young horse, to a child like Hong Fen, it looked like a behemoth. Being faint of heart, the boy shrank behind his sister, his eyes welling up with tears.

This brother of hers was far too timid! Yu Yan sighed, setting aside the task of teaching Hong Fen for a moment, and asked the young eunuch, "What are those little purple flowers in the basket? Why are they mixed in with the horse grass?"

The eunuch smiled and replied, "That is known as 'drunken horse grass' or purple locoweed. We have to pick it out; the horses get poisoned if they eat it."

"Then why do you keep it with the horse grass? What if it’s eaten by mistake?" Yu Yan frowned.

The eunuch explained, "Gege, you may not know, but the flowers of this plant are purple. When they aren't blooming, they look exactly like the horse grass, and they often grow together. We have to cut the grass and then pick through it stem by stem."

Yu Yan nodded. She took a few steps on her short legs toward Chiji and fed it a handful of fresh, sorted grass. "Father says in a couple of years, when he goes on the imperial tour to the frontier, he will take us to the grasslands to ride. We’ll be able to run free then."

Hong Fen looked at his sister with curiosity. He wanted to reach out and touch Chiji, but the nurse, fearing the animal might kick the young master, pulled him back to the side.

Yinzhen had taught Yu Yan the nuances of horse care personally. After she and Hong Fen had successfully steered the nurse away and secretly touched Chiji, it was nearly time for lunch. They returned to Madam Li’s courtyard to dine with their grandmother.

The Li family had no rule against speaking while eating. Madam Li and her daughter chatted as they ate. A mother truly knows her child best; the fried yellow croaker from the small kitchen was tender, fresh, and not greasy. Catching the familiar aroma, Madam Li’s appetite finally returned. She finished a full bowl of rice with the fish and broth, much to the delight of Aunt Chen and the maids, who nearly called out to the Bodhisattvas in gratitude.

"Your father was promoted from Vice-Prefect to Prefect this year, thanks to the Emperor’s conferral of titles. The Prince likely exerted quite a bit of effort behind the scenes," Madam Li said, pulling her daughter aside to discuss family matters. "Your eldest brother’s daughter, Yourong, is about the same age you were when you were young, but she is even more stubborn. Your sister-in-law tries to teach her the *Admonitions for Women*, but she refuses; she won't do needlework either. She only shows interest in managing accounts and using the abacus. It’s enough to drive your sister-in-law to despair."

"Yourong is only two years older than Erlinzhu. She’s still just a child," Madam Li consoled her.

Madam Li sighed, "As the saying goes, you can see a person at three and know what they will be at eighty. She has always been a headstrong girl, like a piece of tough gristle. If she were a boy, it might be fine, but to be born a girl—she’s a little princess at home now, but what will she do when she marries?"

"How coincidental, our Erlinzhu is the same way, and the Prince likes to indulge her," Madam Li said, feeling a headache coming on. "The two cousins are truly alike."

Yu Yan listened to the small talk between her mother and grandmother. She pushed a bowl of steamed egg custard toward Hong Fen and taught him how to use his spoon. He ate slowly, but at least the custard didn't end up all over his clothes.

The afternoon performance was held at the Shufang Studio, right next to the Southern Three Halls. It was a rare opportunity for the women of the Fourth Prince’s household to relax. Even Madam Song, who had rarely stepped out of her room since the death of her Third Gege, had dressed up to watch. Today happened to be Yu Yan’s birthday, so Aunt Chen had changed her into a peach-colored, gold-woven dress and adorned her with the *yingluo* necklace bestowed by the Empress Dowager De. Her soft, dark hair was tied into two small buns, making her look as adorable as carved jade.

Although Madam Li was the birthday girl, she could not let the Primary Wife and the other Gege wait for her. After changing, she took Yu Yan’s hand, had the wet nurse carry Hong Fen, and headed to the Shufang Studio.

Beside the stage at the Shufang Studio hung a bronze gong and a banner inscribed with the title *The Peach Blossom Fan*. Yu Yan had never seen an opera before. The name sounded familiar, but she had no other reaction.

Madam Wu and Madam Song had arrived early, chatting together. After Madam Li took her seat, the Primary Wife arrived, holding Honghui in her arms and followed by Xingde. Looking at the Primary Wife, Yu Yan felt she seemed taller, having completely shed the youthful air she once possessed.

"I haven't heard of this play," Madam Wu said curiously. "Is it a new script from the Southern Mansion’s troupe?"

Yinzhen arrived later. He smiled and said, "Not exactly. This is a legendary play written by Kong Shangren, a scholar from Chengde. It hasn't been performed outside the palace yet. I read it once and found it quite good, so I thought you all might enjoy it."

He turned to the Primary Wife. "A single play is a bit thin. Since we have this rare opportunity, why don't you choose a few more?"

The Primary Wife declined, "Today is Li’s and Erlinzhu’s birthday. It should be up to the mother and daughter to decide."

Yinzhen nodded and handed the play selection ledger to Madam Li. Though she only knew a few characters, she had watched many plays with her grandmother when she was young. She scanned the list and pointed out a few: "*The Palace of Eternal Life* is good, and *The Mulian Opera* is also fine. These are ones I watched often when I was at home."

Yu Yan knew absolutely nothing about opera. She knew more characters than Madam Li, but looking at the long list of names, she couldn't make sense of them either, so she randomly blurted out two titles.

The eunuchs of the Southern Mansion were performing *The Peach Blossom Fan* for the first time, but since it was an imperial commission, the performance was exquisite. The lyrics were so mournful and beautiful that they were heart-wrenching.

At least, that was true for Madam Li.

She was already a beauty, and as she sat there with tears in her peach-blossom eyes, looking at Yinzhen with unspoken longing, her display made the other women in the Fourth Prince’s courtyard feel quite sour. Madam Li didn't care what they thought. She felt every word of the lyrics was sublime, and even after the performance ended, she kept thinking of the line: "I remember when you and I were by the Qinhuai River, watching the flowers in the morning and the moon in the evening, our shoulders pressed together."

This line reminded her of the days when only she and Madam Song were the Prince’s Gege. In those days, she was the standout. Whenever the Prince returned to the residence, he would spend time with her, playing games like young lovers. They had gazed at the moon together and leaned on one another...

The Primary Wife, however, was struck by the line: "I only fear that worldly affairs are blurred and ambiguous, and human sentiment is obscured by layers of pretense." Ever since her relationship with Madam Song had become tangled because of their children, the Primary Wife had redefined her understanding of human nature. Sometimes, people were not as good as she once thought. She had previously suppressed the beautiful and favored Li, and cultivated the quiet, reserved Song, only to find that it was the favored one who was actually obedient, while the quiet, clumsy one was the one who had been secretly poisoning her.

The world was unpredictable, and human hearts were complex. The Primary Wife smiled and patted the drowsy Honghui in her arms. Whatever happened, as long as her son was safe, the chaos below would not touch her.

Yinzhen, meanwhile, was lost in thought over one particular line of the song.

*I watched them build the high tower, I watched them feast the guests, I watched the tower collapse.*

That line was truly profound.